Commitment

Commitment is a word we hear in many contexts. The context that we will discuss today is you, as in commitment to yourself. We often commit to relationships- “I am committed to my husband or wife.” We also commit to dates on our calendars- “I would love to come, but I have a prior commitment.” We even commit to entertainment events- “I’ve got tickets to the show or game, so we have to leave by 5.”

These are all important to varying degrees in lives of most people. We have all made statements similar to those examples at one point or another. For this reason, I don’t doubt our ability to commit. I simply question the areas in which we commit to, or more importantly, the areas in which we do not commit to.

The biggest area we could all use some work on is committing to ourselves. I’ve heard it time and time again: “I can’t go because I have a meeting.” Or “I will be there, here is my RSVP.” Commitments are made all day every day. The problem I see is us committing to ourselves. I don’t often hear, “I will be late to the meeting because it starts during my workout time.” Or “I can’t help now, but will call you as soon as I return from my break.”

We have become so focused on the urgent, that the important is…well, no longer as important. So what happens to less urgent items? They get put on the later-list, or get completely forgotten. But some of these items ARE important. They were important when we set out to do them before and they are important even as we do not do them.

When it comes to living healthy, this is our biggest problem. It’s not that we don’t want to do healthy things or that we want to suffer illness and fatigue. We simply don’t commit to ourselves in order to do what is important. We are too busy focusing on the urgent. But the biggest problem with that pattern is that someone else is deciding what is urgent. Someone else is deciding what you need to do now regardless of the importance that it plays in your life. Some else is deciding that these issues must be taken care of before the things that you consider to be important.

While this is a reality for many of us, it does not have to be the only way. Granted we all have responsibilities that take on urgency and we must commit to. Whether it is work, family or friends, there are many obligations that we all have to commit to. There is nothing wrong with this, but it is also important to put ourselves on the list of commitments. If we don’t, things are very difficult.

You cannot improve health or change habits without committing to yourself. Only when you commit to you can you set and reach goals that will take you to your desired destination. I use the example of the trip:

In order to get to California, I have to do a few things. The very first thing is to pick a destination. San Francisco is where I want to go. Now I have to pick a date. When do I want to go? September 15th, I will go to San Francisco. Now that I know where and when I want to go, I can choose how to get there based on my current situation. Being that I am in Minnesota and only have a few days to spare, I choose to fly to San Francisco on October 15th. The final piece of the commitment is the booking of my flight. Once I have done that, there is no going back. I can look forward to my trip and begin planning my entire travel itinerary.

I would never schedule a meeting or RSVP to a gathering on October 15th. Why? - Because I have committed to going to San Francisco. So how is it that we can’t make the same commitment to ourselves? Why can we commit to short term, high-priced items, but not long term, free and rewarding items such as healthy activities.

I will tell you why- because we can’t commit to ourselves like we can commit to others. The biggest reason that I won’t blow off my flight to San Francisco, is that I will have to pay for the ticket whether I go or not. I have committed to the airline and had them save me a seat for the flight. Granted, the vacation will be enjoyable, but the biggest factor is the commitment made with the tickets. That is why they sell them in advance. Would a baseball team deny you a ticket if you wanted to buy it in advance? No. would they honor your ticket if you decided not to go to this game, but a latter game because it was more convenient for you? No. they would gladly ask you to purchase a new ticket.

Another example of committing:
You and I are scheduled to meet for lunch. We have talked over a few dates and times to find out what will work best for both of us. Finally, we decide on next Friday afternoon. The first thing we do is put it on the calendar. Now that Friday afternoon has come around, you head over to the restaurant that we discussed and sit down to a table. As time goes by and I still have not yet arrived, you get agitated. You finally call me and ask where I am. Now that we are on the phone, I tell you that I cannot make it today. Since we are friends, I do want to reschedule. So we pick another date and time that works and we go from there. Well, what if I don’t show up again? Are you likely to try to schedule another lunch with me? Not likely.

Now, this behavior is unthinkable to most of us. If there is an appointment set, you don’t miss it. So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we blatantly disregard our own appointments. Many of us don’t go as far as setting appointments for ourselves, which can lead to “urgent issues” being thrown into our days without our say. But even when we do, it is harder to keep an appointment with ourselves that it is to keep with someone else.

It is this commitment to others, that we need to show to ourselves. I’m not saying you have to clear your calendar and fill it with your own personal goals. This is not realistic for most of us. But what is realistic is putting something on the calendar for yourself. No matter how small the appointment is, if you schedule it and honor it, you will accomplish more.

If you want to be healthy and enjoy the activities you enjoy, you have to commit to them. More importantly, you have to commit to yourself. Be a better friend to yourself. Commit to you and you will be successful. No matter what the goal is, if you commit yourself to doing it and commit TO yourself, it will happen.