What do you want? What do you need? What are you doing to ensure these things are in your life? I ask these questions because I know how important having what you need and what you want really is. If we don’t have what we want, we are sad, upset and unfulfilled. When we don’t have what we need, we see more serious problems like illness or even death.
You can make or break your life by doing what you need or not. On the most basic level, we need things like air, food and water. These are the big ones. If we don’t have them, we can’t live. But what we want is very important, especially when we want what we need.
Do you want what you need? I know that this question sounds rather silly, but if you think about it for a minute, you’ll see the significance. First think about what you need (make a list…ok, just the top 5 things you need) and then think about how much time and effort you devote to these things.
Do you need what you want? Now make a list of the top 5 things you want. You may have these things already. You may be doing them on a regular basis. That’s ok. In fact, it’s a very good thing if you have what you want. But the first question is: Do you need it? The next question: How do these lists match up? How do your wants and needs compare?
I asked these questions because I’ve been thinking a lot about priorities. Most of my Health Coaching clients have a challenge on their hands. Their challenge is something that you are likely experiencing as well. I know I experience the same challenge. The main challenge is not time, work or being too busy. The main challenge is aligning our wants and needs.
When we put our needs first, we succeed. It works in all areas. Here are some examples of how needs become the end-all when it comes to success or failure:
Health: “I need my health”- by devoting time to care for yourself you are allowing your body and mind to function at full capacity. If you don’t devote any time or put in any effort for your health, you will not have it for very long.
Business: “We need customers”- by investing time and energy into drawing customers to your business, sales and profit can be made. If your business doesn’t put in the effort to get customers, you won’t be in business very long.
Let’s go back to the above statement: “I need my health” to get more clarity around it. This is a broad and general statement, but by making it more specific we can see how this works (or doesn’t work) in real life:
“I need to exercise in order to…”
…avoid heart problems
…have enough energy to play with my kids in the evening
…feel good during my day
…get in shape for my high school reunion
No matter what your need is, it fits within a statement like this. These statements are being uttered all over the world as we speak. In various languages people are telling themselves what they need. They are thinking about what they need and what they need to do in order to get it.
Since this is happening everywhere, people must be successful, right? If everyone knows what they need, they are achieving it, aren’t they? Well, they might be. Unfortunately, many are not. They are not doing what they need despite the fact that they need it.
Why does this happen? It happens because we don’t always want what we need. We need to live healthy in order to feel like we want to feel and look like we want to look. We need to do certain things in order to reach those goals. (Setting goals is one of them in itself.) The problem is, we don’t want to do those things.
It’s easy to say that you want something. It is another thing to actually do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to do something, you won’t do it. It’s that simple. The fact is, no matter how much you need something, you won’t adjust your life to get it if you don’t really want it.
So, what do we do? How do we get what we need? Well, for starters, you have to want it. The next step is something I’ve spend years working on and helping others do. It is something that I’ve written countless articles about.
The next step has been called many things: goal setting, planning, routine, systems, etc. If you really want something you need to be willing to take this step. No matter what area you are talking about, the same rules apply. Doing these things is the difference between success and failure in any part of life. Doing these things is the difference between getting what you want or not. More importantly, these things are the difference between getting what you need or not.
Question: Do you need to be healthy?
Better question: Do you want to be healthy?
Best question: Are you willing to do what it takes to be healthy?
Monday, July 26, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
What would you do with an extra hour?
I recently saw a show where they asked Americans what they would do with an extra hour in their day. It was a nice experiment to fill some time on a morning talk show, but I thought about it more and more as the day went on. It turns out that there was more to this question.
When I heard the answers to the question, I knew that it was a very important question. The answers included many things like reading, exercising sleeping and spending time with family. These things are clearly important to most people. What makes this so significant is the fact that we feel we need an extra hour in the day to do what’s most important.
Why does TV fit into the regular day when playing with kids doesn’t? Why does the extra work fit in when exercise doesn’t? Why do the miscellaneous errands fit into a regular day when value-adding activities don’t? I don’t understand how that works. I understand how we get into that situation, but I can’t understand not changing it.
The question for me is: Why do we need the extra hour to do things we know we want to do? Many of the things like sleep and exercise are actually needs. They are more than just wants. If we don’t get enough sleep, there are many studies showing that we decrease life expectancy by years. So not only are we not taking advantage of the hours we have, but we are actually eliminating hours from our lives.
That is a scary thought. What is even scarier is that we can sit down and make a list of the things we would do if we had an extra hour and still not be doing them. We can think of a list off the top of our heads and yet, we can’t take that list and make it part of our lives. That is the scariest thought of all.
You’ve heard about the importance of goals and planning. You’ve heard about priorities. You’ve also heard about the state of American health, family structure and many other areas that are in dismal condition.
So what’s the excuse? I’ve heard a laundry list of excuses. I’ve heard everything from work to spouse to pets. You name it and it’s been used as an excuse. Some things are more common than others and actually make this whole concept clearer.
Is it work? “I can’t spend time with my family or take time for my health because I am too busy.” “I am spending more time at work, so I can’t do anything else.”
It is easy to get into the cycle of working too much. You need to provide for your family and pay your bills. I understand that. What I don’t understand is how we can continue to put emphasis on something and still not get anything out of it.
This brings me back to the state of the union and many aspects of it. I can start to understand it when I think about it this way:
Work is just an excuse. We are hiding behind the busy schedule and overtime because we know that no one will question it. It’s ok to be too busy with work to take care of yourself. It’s ok to spend only a few minutes a week with your kids because it’s the busy season. It’s ok to avoid important things as long as you have urgent things to do instead.
I’d like to see that change. I’d like to see it be ok to do important things. It should not be ok to let our needs and our families needs fall by the wayside while we continue to do things that perpetuate this trend.
It IS ok to put your priorities in order. It is ok to fit the activities that you need into your day. It is ok to take that list of things that you would fit in if you had an extra hour and make it part of your day. It may not be easy and the change may not take place in one day, but you can do it. You need to do it and you know it. That is why you said: “if I had an extra hour, I’d do it.”
This is why the question of what I would do with an extra hour in my day raised so much thought. Having spent the past decade talking to people and helping them get their priorities IN their day rather than simply wishing they were there, it was upsetting to hear that so many of us still can’t do it.
Allow me to clarify: It’s not that Americans can’t do it. It’s that Americans are choosing not to do it.
The question: What would you do if you had an EXTRA hour in your day?
The answer: Things that are important that I know I need to do be doing anyway.
When I hear this question and answer, there is only one conclusion that can be drawn. We all know what to do and we are deciding that it’s not important enough.
Why else would we have a list of things that are important and only do those things if we had an extra hour? The moral of the story is: if you really want something to be part of your day…you need to make it part of your day.
That brings us to the most important question: Are you doing what you want to be doing now or are you waiting for that fictional extra hour to get it in?
When I heard the answers to the question, I knew that it was a very important question. The answers included many things like reading, exercising sleeping and spending time with family. These things are clearly important to most people. What makes this so significant is the fact that we feel we need an extra hour in the day to do what’s most important.
Why does TV fit into the regular day when playing with kids doesn’t? Why does the extra work fit in when exercise doesn’t? Why do the miscellaneous errands fit into a regular day when value-adding activities don’t? I don’t understand how that works. I understand how we get into that situation, but I can’t understand not changing it.
The question for me is: Why do we need the extra hour to do things we know we want to do? Many of the things like sleep and exercise are actually needs. They are more than just wants. If we don’t get enough sleep, there are many studies showing that we decrease life expectancy by years. So not only are we not taking advantage of the hours we have, but we are actually eliminating hours from our lives.
That is a scary thought. What is even scarier is that we can sit down and make a list of the things we would do if we had an extra hour and still not be doing them. We can think of a list off the top of our heads and yet, we can’t take that list and make it part of our lives. That is the scariest thought of all.
You’ve heard about the importance of goals and planning. You’ve heard about priorities. You’ve also heard about the state of American health, family structure and many other areas that are in dismal condition.
So what’s the excuse? I’ve heard a laundry list of excuses. I’ve heard everything from work to spouse to pets. You name it and it’s been used as an excuse. Some things are more common than others and actually make this whole concept clearer.
Is it work? “I can’t spend time with my family or take time for my health because I am too busy.” “I am spending more time at work, so I can’t do anything else.”
It is easy to get into the cycle of working too much. You need to provide for your family and pay your bills. I understand that. What I don’t understand is how we can continue to put emphasis on something and still not get anything out of it.
This brings me back to the state of the union and many aspects of it. I can start to understand it when I think about it this way:
Work is just an excuse. We are hiding behind the busy schedule and overtime because we know that no one will question it. It’s ok to be too busy with work to take care of yourself. It’s ok to spend only a few minutes a week with your kids because it’s the busy season. It’s ok to avoid important things as long as you have urgent things to do instead.
I’d like to see that change. I’d like to see it be ok to do important things. It should not be ok to let our needs and our families needs fall by the wayside while we continue to do things that perpetuate this trend.
It IS ok to put your priorities in order. It is ok to fit the activities that you need into your day. It is ok to take that list of things that you would fit in if you had an extra hour and make it part of your day. It may not be easy and the change may not take place in one day, but you can do it. You need to do it and you know it. That is why you said: “if I had an extra hour, I’d do it.”
This is why the question of what I would do with an extra hour in my day raised so much thought. Having spent the past decade talking to people and helping them get their priorities IN their day rather than simply wishing they were there, it was upsetting to hear that so many of us still can’t do it.
Allow me to clarify: It’s not that Americans can’t do it. It’s that Americans are choosing not to do it.
The question: What would you do if you had an EXTRA hour in your day?
The answer: Things that are important that I know I need to do be doing anyway.
When I hear this question and answer, there is only one conclusion that can be drawn. We all know what to do and we are deciding that it’s not important enough.
Why else would we have a list of things that are important and only do those things if we had an extra hour? The moral of the story is: if you really want something to be part of your day…you need to make it part of your day.
That brings us to the most important question: Are you doing what you want to be doing now or are you waiting for that fictional extra hour to get it in?
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Summer Eating Strategies
You’ve heard about the importance of nutrition. Every day, we hear about the best things for you and the worst things for you. At the end of the day, do you know what is going to be the best thing for you? The thing that you are going to stick with is going to be the best thing for you. It’s that simple. You can worry about what is “right” or what you are “supposed to do”, but if you don’t do them consistently, they aren’t going to bring you the results you are looking for.
In other words, you need a strategy. A strategy brings the results you have in mind and helps you put them into action. This is a challenge because we all need to have our own strategy in order to stick with it. This is just a quick look at some ways that you can use your strategy to get the results you are looking for this summer.
Strategy 1: Buy fresh
The summer months offer the best in produce. You can find the ripest fruits and the tastiest vegetables. You can go to farmer’s markets, small produce stands and right to the farm if you want to. But that’s not the only place to find good produce. Your regular supermarket is going to have more choices and they are even going to have deals on fresh items that they can only keep around for so long before they go bad. They are dying for you to buy more fresh fruits and veggies, so they are often on sale and always tasty. This is also a great time to try something new.
Strategy 2: Grill out
The summer barbeque has gotten a bit of a bad name because of some of our traditional foods. Most grills that I’ve seen can cook more than just burgers and brats. Lean meats like chicken, fish and even steaks can be a great way to fill that need for hearty protein. Also, veggies can be cooked in a variety of ways either right on the grill, in a grill basket or on a skewer. Try some new
marinades and seasonings on your meat. Each meal can feel like something fun instead of “just another boring dinner.”
Strategy 3: Eat like you’re wearing a bathing suit
This sounds funny, but it actually works for many people. In fact, I've written an entire article on this strategy. I was talking to someone about their eating routines when they said: “I don’t want to eat too much when I’m wearing my bathing suit”. It makes sense doesn’t it? When we are at the lake, pool or even a backyard function, the less clothing we are wearing, the less we want to eat. You don’t have to starve yourself and it’s not just about how you look in that suit. It is about how you feel. It is easy to put on a baggy sweater and eat a lot. It is also easier to eat a smaller amount when we are wearing a bathing suit. Give it a try this summer. (See archive for complete article: http://bwchealthcoach.blogspot.com/2009/12/act-like-youre-in-bathing-suit.html)
Do you strategies that have worked for you? Share your strategies and help others reach their goals: coach@byrdwellnessconecpts.com
In other words, you need a strategy. A strategy brings the results you have in mind and helps you put them into action. This is a challenge because we all need to have our own strategy in order to stick with it. This is just a quick look at some ways that you can use your strategy to get the results you are looking for this summer.
Strategy 1: Buy fresh
The summer months offer the best in produce. You can find the ripest fruits and the tastiest vegetables. You can go to farmer’s markets, small produce stands and right to the farm if you want to. But that’s not the only place to find good produce. Your regular supermarket is going to have more choices and they are even going to have deals on fresh items that they can only keep around for so long before they go bad. They are dying for you to buy more fresh fruits and veggies, so they are often on sale and always tasty. This is also a great time to try something new.
Strategy 2: Grill out
The summer barbeque has gotten a bit of a bad name because of some of our traditional foods. Most grills that I’ve seen can cook more than just burgers and brats. Lean meats like chicken, fish and even steaks can be a great way to fill that need for hearty protein. Also, veggies can be cooked in a variety of ways either right on the grill, in a grill basket or on a skewer. Try some new
marinades and seasonings on your meat. Each meal can feel like something fun instead of “just another boring dinner.”
Strategy 3: Eat like you’re wearing a bathing suit
This sounds funny, but it actually works for many people. In fact, I've written an entire article on this strategy. I was talking to someone about their eating routines when they said: “I don’t want to eat too much when I’m wearing my bathing suit”. It makes sense doesn’t it? When we are at the lake, pool or even a backyard function, the less clothing we are wearing, the less we want to eat. You don’t have to starve yourself and it’s not just about how you look in that suit. It is about how you feel. It is easy to put on a baggy sweater and eat a lot. It is also easier to eat a smaller amount when we are wearing a bathing suit. Give it a try this summer. (See archive for complete article: http://bwchealthcoach.blogspot.com/2009/12/act-like-youre-in-bathing-suit.html)
Do you strategies that have worked for you? Share your strategies and help others reach their goals: coach@byrdwellnessconecpts.com
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