Be a Good Friend to Yourself

Health is a serious matter. We all take it seriously. Even if you are struggling to get started, the matter at hand is serious: You want to do something to improve your life and it is important to you that it gets done. It can be frustrating when you run into challenges. Believe me, I’ve run into my share of challenges on my journey. I have also talked to countless people that are dealing with challenges on a day to day basis.

There is something that is more frustrating than the day to day challenges. There is something that is more frustrating than anything else. What’s worse is that your frustration is only equaled by you lack of progress and defeat. When you are dealing with this, it can be difficult to even continue on your plan.

I have a few questions for you relating to this issue:
- Have you ever had a friend that always told you that you were going to get together?
- Have you ever had that same friend change or cancel plans on you?
- How did that make you feel?
- Did you keep trying to make plans with this person?

These questions are answered by you and only you, so I am making no assumptions about you social life. The only assumptions that I am making are:

1. IF you were dealing with this, it was very frustrating and even hurtful.
2. You weren’t dealing with it very long before you simply quit trying.

It goes without saying that it hurts when someone chooses not to spend time with you. It frustrates us when someone doesn’t make time for you. A friend, family member, spouse, coworker or anyone in your life has the power to hurt us by disrespecting our time and company. They can cause you to feel down and question many things. A true friend wouldn’t do this to you, would they?

Well, are you your own friend? Have you been a good friend to yourself? This question may sound odd, but it is very important to ask it. It is very important for you to ask yourself if you have been a good friend to yourself. Obviously, it is also important to be a good friend to your friends and family, but that is easier than being a good friend to yourself. In fact, most people are ONLY good friends to their friends and continue to neglect themselves.

This brings us to the last question on that list: Did you keep trying to make plans with your friend that wouldn’t stick to your commitments?

Most people that I talk to about this, have said that they didn’t try very long before giving up, and they eventually gave up. Many people also tell me that it taught them a lesson. The lesson to them was that if someone isn’t willing to commit to them, they shouldn’t keep committing. If someone doesn’t have time for you, don’t make time for them.

I will ask again: Are you a good friend to yourself? More accurately, have you been a good friend to yourself? If not, you just went through the same situation with yourself that you did with that rude and disrespectful friend. You kept changing your mind and refusing to commit to take time for you, so eventually, you stopped committing the time and assumed that it wouldn’t happen anyway.

This is called quitting or giving up. It seems to be acceptable because we don’t think it’s hurting anyone else. In fact, in many ways it even feels better to let go and quit trying. Why does this feel good? It feels good because you don’t have to let yourself down anymore. Just as it felt good to take your power back and not let your friend stand you up anymore, it feels good to stop standing yourself up too.

There are two ways to stop standing yourself up:
1. Quit (not recommended)
2. Start being a better friend to yourself

Anyone can quit. Anyone can say that they give up and stop trying. Anyone can neglect themselves and pretend that it feels better. But eventually, you are going to want to get back out there and do it. Eventually, you will decide that you want to be friends again. It works with the other person or yourself. If a really close friend or a sibling changes and wants to start trying to build your relationship again, you are likely to give them another chance. Once you decide that you want to start building routine again, you will give yourself another chance.

At least I hope you will give yourself another chance. If you don’t, life will be long and painful. The benefits of health are numerous. You will live a better life with health, just as you will live a better life with friends and family that love you. No one can deny that it hurts to have someone that isn’t willing to commit to you.

That is why living an unhealthy lifestyle is hurting you. Not only are you missing the benefits a healthy lifestyle, but you are also treating yourself badly. You are mistreating yourself physically by not exercising or watching your eating habits. That is one thing. The more significant damage is done on the emotional side. You are mistreating yourself emotionally by refusing to commit.

Hurtful when it comes from a so-called friend: They are refusing to commit time with you. They are putting other things in front of you and your relationship. They are telling you that you are not important enough to spend a little time with.

More hurtful when it comes from you: You are refusing to commit time for yourself. You are putting other things in front of yourself. You are telling yourself that you are not important enough to spend a little time with.

I don’t see much difference between the two situations. The actions are the same.
The results are the same. If you don’t take time for someone, it hurts them. If you don’t take time for yourself, it hurts you. When you think about your health, think about your feelings. Think about how are treating yourself. Ask yourself: Would I tolerate this treatment from someone else? Are you being a good friend to yourself?