Wants and Needs

What do you want? What do you need? What are you doing to ensure these things are in your life? I ask these questions because I know how important having what you need and what you want really is. If we don’t have what we want, we are sad, upset and unfulfilled. When we don’t have what we need, we see more serious problems like illness or even death.

You can make or break your life by doing what you need or not. On the most basic level, we need things like air, food and water. These are the big ones. If we don’t have them, we can’t live. But what we want is very important, especially when we want what we need.

Do you want what you need? I know that this question sounds rather silly, but if you think about it for a minute, you’ll see the significance. First think about what you need (make a list…ok, just the top 5 things you need) and then think about how much time and effort you devote to these things.

Do you need what you want? Now make a list of the top 5 things you want. You may have these things already. You may be doing them on a regular basis. That’s ok. In fact, it’s a very good thing if you have what you want. But the first question is: Do you need it? The next question: How do these lists match up? How do your wants and needs compare?

I asked these questions because I’ve been thinking a lot about priorities. Most of my Health Coaching clients have a challenge on their hands. Their challenge is something that you are likely experiencing as well. I know I experience the same challenge. The main challenge is not time, work or being too busy. The main challenge is aligning our wants and needs.

When we put our needs first, we succeed. It works in all areas. Here are some examples of how needs become the end-all when it comes to success or failure:

Health: “I need my health”- by devoting time to care for yourself you are allowing your body and mind to function at full capacity. If you don’t devote any time or put in any effort for your health, you will not have it for very long.

Business: “We need customers”- by investing time and energy into drawing customers to your business, sales and profit can be made. If your business doesn’t put in the effort to get customers, you won’t be in business very long.

Let’s go back to the above statement: “I need my health” to get more clarity around it. This is a broad and general statement, but by making it more specific we can see how this works (or doesn’t work) in real life:
“I need to exercise in order to…”
…avoid heart problems
…have enough energy to play with my kids in the evening
…feel good during my day
…get in shape for my high school reunion

No matter what your need is, it fits within a statement like this. These statements are being uttered all over the world as we speak. In various languages people are telling themselves what they need. They are thinking about what they need and what they need to do in order to get it.

Since this is happening everywhere, people must be successful, right? If everyone knows what they need, they are achieving it, aren’t they? Well, they might be. Unfortunately, many are not. They are not doing what they need despite the fact that they need it.

Why does this happen? It happens because we don’t always want what we need. We need to live healthy in order to feel like we want to feel and look like we want to look. We need to do certain things in order to reach those goals. (Setting goals is one of them in itself.) The problem is, we don’t want to do those things.

It’s easy to say that you want something. It is another thing to actually do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to do something, you won’t do it. It’s that simple. The fact is, no matter how much you need something, you won’t adjust your life to get it if you don’t really want it.

So, what do we do? How do we get what we need? Well, for starters, you have to want it. The next step is something I’ve spend years working on and helping others do. It is something that I’ve written countless articles about.

The next step has been called many things: goal setting, planning, routine, systems, etc. If you really want something you need to be willing to take this step. No matter what area you are talking about, the same rules apply. Doing these things is the difference between success and failure in any part of life. Doing these things is the difference between getting what you want or not. More importantly, these things are the difference between getting what you need or not.

Question: Do you need to be healthy?
Better question: Do you want to be healthy?
Best question: Are you willing to do what it takes to be healthy?