Complaints Don't Solve Problems

It is easy to complain, it is more difficult to act. I see this played out in politics all the time. It’s an old classic: someone has an issue so they complain about it. Someone else fixes the issue by acting on it and they still get complaints because it wasn’t done right. Well, those people that acted deserve thanks. They deserve to be treated as if they solved a problem. Most likely they did solve a problem.

No matter what your view is, you can clearly see that they did more than the complainers. You can see that they have put themselves in a position to be praised for their efforts. At least they should be given a break right? Right? Watching how our society is operating now, I’m not so sure that we actually see it this way.

At this point, we are willing to put fourth more effort to complain about a problem than we are to try and fix it. Think about it, we’ve all turned on the radio or television to listen to opinions. We’ve all seen the headlines and heard from the experts as they tell us what is wrong with the world. Everyone has a complaint.
Unfortunately, complaints don’t solve problems.

Maybe that was my first mistake- turning on the television. I noticed long ago that the media was showcasing, if not looking for negativity. We are shown 9 negative stories for every positive story. I don’t have the exact figures on the ration, so don’t complain. Actually, I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to help me get it right, so feel free to share any stats here.

Stats or no stats, it is clear that there is a lot of negative reporting. Some say that this is simply a reflection of what is going on in the world. They say: “the world is a negative place, so that is what we are reporting.” I can see where they are coming from…if they are watching television all day.

What I can’t see is why we continue to spend so much energy on the negative. Maybe we are actually spending less energy being negative because it is just so easy to do. Think about it, all you have to do is agree with your complaining neighbor or join in on the conversation about how bad things are with your coworkers. There is a negative conversation taking place everywhere we turn.

It may actually take more energy to get away from them or turn them into positive conversations. Have you tried it? I would be a hypocrite if I simply complained about the complainers without offering a solution.

The solution: don’t participate. It’s that simple. It seems more difficult, but it really isn’t. There is always a choice when you are thinking or talking about something. There is a positive and a negative road in front of you at all times. All you have to do is listen to your own voice and choose not to go down that road.

What does this have to do with health? Well, that is a good question considering that we’re 500 words in we haven’t even touched on health yet. (Thanks for sticking with me, by the way) Health is what got me thinking about positive and negative. It was actually a complaining person that brought this conversation on.

It started with a participant that was unhappy. What they were originally unhappy with, I don’t know. We never got far enough into the conversation to discuss any actual causes or reasons. I simply got to hear what was wrong with me and my program. I found this odd because I usually only hear good things. Not that everything is perfect, but there is a reason that I do this for a living. Most of my conversations are about how people have made great changes and are feeling good.

You can imagine my shock when I heard the following.

As I’m talking to this person that is telling me about what they don’t like, they shared this with me:

They were unhappy with the help that I was giving them
They didn’t see the value of participating and didn’t want to do it anymore
They would still stay signed up, but not participate for a discount on their healthcare
They were not reaching their goals

I tried not to take these comments too personally, but I did not take them lightly. Negative feedback is a very serious issue and I want to take it in so I can improve. My goal is help you reach your goals, so I need to be doing things as well as I can in order to do that. This feedback was something that I thought would help me do that, so I welcomed it and continued the conversation.

As the conversation continued, the complaining participant told me the above issues they had. My first instinct was to listen to their objections and empathize with their position. Before I try to find a solution, I need to acknowledge what their complaints are. Once I have all of that information and am certain that they feel they’ve been heard, I can hopefully offer a solution.

That is where I came to realize that this person was simply complaining and needed someone to complain to. Their first issue (the help I was giving) was addressed by them accusing me of not giving them specific feedback on their goals. They failed to send me any information on their goals between our last conversations. How can I help you with something that I don’t know about? In other words, how can you get what you want if you don’t take the necessary steps?

The conversation continued and they shared how they didn’t see the value and didn’t want to participate. They would however, stay in the program to receive their discount on health insurance. To clarify, I don’t want to do anything to actually improve my health or bring down my medical expenses, but I want to pay less for the coverage.

The final complaint was really the first complaint and reason for this conversation in the first place. This person was not reaching their goals. They had not stuck with the action plan that they decided would help make the changes that they wanted to make. They needed help, which is what I am here for, but they didn’t share their challenges with me. Instead they complained about the program.

Sound familiar? A problem arises, they choose to complain about said problem and go as far as blaming someone else for it? Now hopefully you can see how this relates to health. Again, it is easier to complain about the system than it is to participate in the system and make it work for you.

In this case, there weren’t even changes to be made with the system. This person was not complaining about how things worked. They were complaining about how they were not getting what they wanted. When in fact, they were getting what they put into the program. They were receiving the same service as everyone else and all they had to do was participate and all of their problems would’ve been solved. Unfortunately, there was no action taken. There was only a complaint. What have we learned about complaints? They don’t solve problems!

I still take this very seriously. I am not making light of anyone’s health challenges, nor am I bad-mouthing anyone for having trouble reaching their goals. I continue to support this person and they will continue to remain nameless despite us discussing their situation. They are still in my program and we are working through this. The key word with our program now is WORK. The root of this entire problem was not reaching goals. The initial reaction was to complain, but now that we are back where we need to be, the real solution has revealed itself: we have to fix the problem.

If the problem is “I’m not reaching my goals”, which is how they later explained it to me, the solution is to go back and change the plan so you can start reaching your goals. The solution is not to quit and blame someone else. That doesn’t work in any area of life. We all tried that as kids: “he hit me first”, ok, that may be true, but you chose to react by hitting him back. Now you have a problem and you have to deal with the consequences.

What are you going to do to fix it? You can complain and say “it’s not fair” or you can deal with it, learn from the experience and handle it differently next time. Only then, will you avoid the punishment. By choosing a different action, you get a different result. If we choose the same action (complaining, blaming, quitting), we get the same results: failure, disappointment and more complaints!

I learned a valuable lesson from this situation. Your health is just that: YOUR health. I have talked and written about that for a long time, but this reinforced it. If you want it to improve, there is one person that can make it happen: YOU. You are the only one that can set your goals and take the steps to reach them. I can help, your friends and family can help, but YOU are the one in control. No one else can take credit for your success, but that also means that no one else can take the blame for your failure.

As a society we have a lot to learn about this concept. Our health problems are a glaring indication of that. We need to do more than voice an opinion or make a negative comment to fix the problem. My program is not designed to create magic results with no effort. Our healthcare system is not designed to create magic cures with no prevention needed. If it was, I’d be a gazillionaire and we wouldn’t be in this mess with a broken healthcare system. We each need to take responsibility for our actions if we want the results we say we want.

That may have sounded like a complaint. Maybe it was a complaint. It is a justified complaint because it is only a fraction of the energy that I am expending. I am expending my energy trying to change the way the system works. I am trying to change the way each and every one of us works. I focus on this day in and day out. I focus on ways to help you live a healthier and happier life.

Because I put so much energy into helping people, it hurts when they don’t appreciate it. It did hurt a lot to get negative feedback. But, what hurt more in this situation was the fact that it wasn’t really feedback. It was just a complaint. As I’ve illustrated in this article, complaints don’t solve problems.

So what can you do? You can participate. You can get in the game and make the changes that you want to see made. You can choose not to participate in negative conversations. You can even choose to feel good and be happy. All you have to do is act. Stop complaining and act. If you just complain, you know what will happen: nothing but more complaints.