Stress is part of all of our lives. It is a big part of most of our lives. No matter who you are, there is some stress somewhere. Since we all know what stress is and that it is something that we are familiar with, one would think that it would be easy to handle. Unfortunately, it is not. Stress is very difficult to deal with.
Stress is so difficult to deal with that we often don’t. We simply let stress take over and run our lives, never to be dealt with or even managed. Although common, this is a scary thought to me. Stress makes live hard for many. In fact, stress kills people. It is not an overstatement to call stress deadly.
For that reason, I find it important, not only to discuss stress, but to help people manage it. Notice that I use the word manage. I did not say that I help people “relieve” or “eliminating” stress, or give people “stress-free” lives. Stress comes into all of our lives, no matter how happy, efficient or skilled we are. It does not go away for good. You may not feel it or be worried about it for a while, but that doesn’t mean that it won’t come back.
This is where the real change is made. Many of my clients have made great strides in their lives. Stress, of course is an area that we have worked on. When we start working on this topic, there are some major barriers. There are some people that have been completely consumed by stress. While there are others who don’t feel that it exists at all. For many of these people, no matter where they are on the spectrum, there are a few important steps that take place on the road to managing stress.
It goes back to my earlier statement about managing stress versus “relieving” or “eliminating” of stress. Once you realize that you will never completely eliminate stress, you will be in a much better place mentally. Often, I see people get upset over that fact that they feel stressed. It becomes a battle that they cannot win, especially when they are upset at themselves for feeling stressed at all.
While stress management can be very complicated, it doesn’t have to be. That’s right, managing your stress does not have to be complicated. In fact, it can actually be quite simple. It all comes down to three things. These three things are what allow you to manage your stress:
1. Triggers
2. Control
3. Habits
1. Triggers
What is causing your stress? The triggers are simply the reasons or factors that cause you to feel that your stress level is elevated. By identifying these triggers, we can start to make changes to our routine. Just like any other change, the key is awareness. This awareness is the first step you must take if you want to make a change.
2. Control
What can I control? Now that we have identified the situations or factors behind our stress, we can get more specific in our gameplan. Once we are aware of the causes, we can begin to identify the areas of control. Even if a situation feels completely overwhelming, there are likely many small factors that add up to bring your stress level to its peak. Some of those small areas may be in your control. Even if we can only identify a few of those small areas and control them, that could make a significant difference in the overall stress level.
3. Habits
What do we do when we feel stressed? Habits are a way of life. We all live our lives by practicing habit after habit as we go through our routines. The problem for most people is that their habits are causing more harm than good. That may sound harsh, but it is reality. Our health and wellbeing in the US is in a state of emergency. We are not taking care of ourselves the way we should be. If we can identify the triggers, begin to control the small areas of our lives, good habits are already forming. Once we can do that, it is just a matter of practice. We will get better and better at controlling the areas we can control and doing things that help us feel less stressed.
Now, this may only be temporary, but that is the beauty of habits. The more you practice and live your life a certain way, the better you get at it. Now, this has lead many of us down the path of pain and suffering as we have gotten so good at doing things that brought us harm. Remember, a habit is a habit. There are good habits and there are bad habits, but the fact remains that they are all in the same class. Habits function the same way good or bad. Habits bring you the expected results, good or bad. It is up to you to determine how you want your life to go.
Clearly this applies to many areas of life. Stress, although a more dangerous and difficult topic, is no different. If you identify the triggers, focus on the things you can control and practice habits that help you manage stress, than you will be managing stress. When you manage your stress, you get a feeling of accomplishment and everything feels easier. When you don’t manage your stress you get…more stress!
Friday, August 22, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Challenges to making changes
If we expect to see changes, we need to make changes. The actions and behaviors directly affect the results that we get. Results will remain the same unless actions are changed. In fact, the definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior but expecting a different result. So, why are we all in sane? Actually, we are not all insane, but one may wonder when you think about the things we voluntarily do to our bodies. I have broken down a few of the reasons for our challenges in this article:
Fear of change itself
Change can be a very frightening thing. Change means effort and perhaps some discomfort. Change means doing things that you are not used to doing, or at least doing things differently. Sometimes just the thought of doing something outside of the routine can be enough to make you shutter. Is this because it is so terrible? No, it is because we are not used to it and therefore, are unsure of the outcome. That leads us into the next reason we struggle with change:
Lack of confidence to change
It is difficult to even attempt a change if we are unsure that it can be accomplished. If you set out to do something, it is easier if you have done it before. It is much easier if you have done it successfully before. I often ask clients what their confidence level is to reach a certain goal. If it is too low, we will look further into that and actually change the goal in many cases. This shows the importance of setting realistic goals. Our next reason for challenges comes when your goals are unrealistic for you:
Unrealistic or general goals
If we don’t set goals for ourselves, it can be very difficult to reach them. We all know certain things about diet and exercise, but we have to be striving to reach things that we see ourselves doing. If you set out to run a marathon this year, I would hope that you had been running for a while and were comfortable increasing your distance to 26.2 miles soon. Many people simply pull goals out of a hat and say that they will accomplish them. I like the spirit, but if your not specifically motivated and equipped to reach a goal, it is the wrong goal for you. Later, I will get into more detail about goal setting and we will discuss this area further.
We’ve discussed three challenges to making changes. While they may not be the only challenges, they are significant. They are likely to affect your routine, but can be overcome with determination, planning and support. You’ve got to have the determination to change your actions. You’ve got to plan the proper routine and set realistic goals. You also need support around you to hold you accountable. Once you can put that together, you can accomplish any goal and make any change you set out to make.
Fear of change itself
Change can be a very frightening thing. Change means effort and perhaps some discomfort. Change means doing things that you are not used to doing, or at least doing things differently. Sometimes just the thought of doing something outside of the routine can be enough to make you shutter. Is this because it is so terrible? No, it is because we are not used to it and therefore, are unsure of the outcome. That leads us into the next reason we struggle with change:
Lack of confidence to change
It is difficult to even attempt a change if we are unsure that it can be accomplished. If you set out to do something, it is easier if you have done it before. It is much easier if you have done it successfully before. I often ask clients what their confidence level is to reach a certain goal. If it is too low, we will look further into that and actually change the goal in many cases. This shows the importance of setting realistic goals. Our next reason for challenges comes when your goals are unrealistic for you:
Unrealistic or general goals
If we don’t set goals for ourselves, it can be very difficult to reach them. We all know certain things about diet and exercise, but we have to be striving to reach things that we see ourselves doing. If you set out to run a marathon this year, I would hope that you had been running for a while and were comfortable increasing your distance to 26.2 miles soon. Many people simply pull goals out of a hat and say that they will accomplish them. I like the spirit, but if your not specifically motivated and equipped to reach a goal, it is the wrong goal for you. Later, I will get into more detail about goal setting and we will discuss this area further.
We’ve discussed three challenges to making changes. While they may not be the only challenges, they are significant. They are likely to affect your routine, but can be overcome with determination, planning and support. You’ve got to have the determination to change your actions. You’ve got to plan the proper routine and set realistic goals. You also need support around you to hold you accountable. Once you can put that together, you can accomplish any goal and make any change you set out to make.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Funny take on American Health
If you've been following the Olympics, you may have heard about Michael Phelps' routine. He has a schedule to keep that involves a great deal of training, but it also involves a lot of eating. In order to fuel the fire for this amazing feat, he has to consume more food than many could imagine...at least it should be hard to imagine...
"Michael Phelps 12,000 calorie-a-day diet becomes newest U.S. craze
Failure to swim 30 hours a week leads to massive heart failure in thousands of Americans following newest gold medal diet fad"
Original headline posted on The Diary of Fools blog. These guys (and gals) are truly hilarious! They are not a wellness-related blog, but it is very entertaining.
"Michael Phelps 12,000 calorie-a-day diet becomes newest U.S. craze
Failure to swim 30 hours a week leads to massive heart failure in thousands of Americans following newest gold medal diet fad"
Original headline posted on The Diary of Fools blog. These guys (and gals) are truly hilarious! They are not a wellness-related blog, but it is very entertaining.
Wellness- worlds collide in order to achieve it (inner vs. outer)
Wellness is many things. Wellness is living with health, balance, focus and quality. Wellness is doing good, and fulfilling activities. But most importantly, wellness is a mindset. Wellness is the mindset that we are going to do things that make us feel good. Not only are we going to do these things, we are going to make time for them and strike a balance in our lives. Wellness really is that balance that keeps us striving for more growth and challenges while still appreciating the comforts friends and family.
We create our lives. When wellness is a part of that creation, it is truly yours to enjoy. You may feel that things are not in your control or that you are at the mercy of others. Well, you are…if you don’t live with wellness. Too often we look outward at our problems. Too often we look outward for solutions to these problems. Most answers, while not always clear, are inside. They have been there and will continue to be as long as we are human beings. So how do we achieve as human beings?
We make it part of our lives. In order to feel good, we have to do things that make us feel good. Getting up in the morning feeling good is a result of wellness. Going to bed at night feeling good is also a result of wellness. And, clearly feeling good throughout the day is a result of wellness. Living with wellness and making it part of your life is easier said than done. But it is being done by many already and can be done by anyone.
Wellness is what you get when you start each day with your agenda. It goes back to inner versus outer influences. Ask yourself a few questions: Who is winning the battle, the outer world or the inner world? What is driving your life, the outer world or the inner world?
How do you answer these questions? Actually asking yourself the questions is difficult enough. Especially in a time of stress, but it is important and can be very rewarding. You have to ask these questions if you want to know where you are in relation to wellness. If the inner world is what drives you, than wellness is a part of your life. If the outer is driving you, than…you guessed it, wellness is not a part of your life.
You may say, “I am a healthy person who practices many good habits, but my life is demanding and I have no control.” Or you may say, “It’s not my fault that my schedule is the way it is, but I get the healthy things in when I can.” Well, I am here to tell you that wellness is more than getting some exercise in or taking a break when you can. Wellness is much more that racing to the gym with a moment of your spare time. It is much more than getting a diet soda at the fast food restaurant.
Wellness is the mindset. The mindset that you are going to do what you need to do in order for your inner world to be as harmonious as possible. Our inner world can only be as controlled as we believe it can be. Much like our outer world can only be as out of control as we believe it can be. Until we look inward and truly find what drives us, we are simply going along with the outer world no matter what the consequences are to the inner world.
I’m no Buddhist monk, but I know a thing or two about enlightenment. I don’t mean the spiritual enlightenment that can only be achieved by years of meditation in the Himalayas. I mean the enlightenment that you achieve by looking inward and asking yourself who or what is in control. Am I running my life or is someone else? That is the real question. And all too often, the answer is either someone (or everyone) else. You may think that you can answer it at a glance or without thinking about it, but chances are you are proving the fact that the outer world is winning by not taking the time for yourself.
It is one thing to take time to go for a walk or relax on your day off. It is quite another to ask yourself what you really want. The reason our worlds (inner and outer) are limitless is our minds. Our minds are so powerful that we can literally be held captive or set free be them. A thought or decision inside your own mind can determine the best or the worst imaginable outcome. And guess what…it’s up to you.
The moral of the story is that we are creating our world. Either by doing what we want and getting great satisfaction or by allowing others to dictate what we do and what makes us happy, we are creating our world. It is up to us which world we focus on, but the outer will always reflect the inner. That is why if we look inside, we can make the changes that will affect the outer. We must look inside to change anything. We have to go to the root and start from the source in order to make any changes.
If you are not where you want to be, simply ask yourself these questions: What needs to be done in order to get there? What do I have to do in order to get what I want? If the goal is important enough, you will make the changes to reach it. If the goal is not important enough, you won’t.
That is why I emphasize the difference between the inner and outer worlds. If your goal is based in the outer world (by someone else or to meet something on the exterior) it is not important enough for YOU to make a change. Only when your goals are rooted in your inner world are they going to be important enough for YOU to make the changes necessary to reach them. And only when you are able to ask yourself what is important to you in the inner world will you be able to set goals there.
If you can identify what you want, set goals get it and make the necessary changes, you can do anything you want. But if you can’t identify what YOU want or set goals based on YOUR desires, you can do nothing. You can do nothing other than live according to your outer world. It may be easier or feel “normal”, but it is not. In the short term, you may stay comfortable, but in the long term is will be much harder to deal with.
Once you have begun to satisfy your true passions and strived to reach your true inner goals, you have made wellness a part of your life. How important are your goals?
We create our lives. When wellness is a part of that creation, it is truly yours to enjoy. You may feel that things are not in your control or that you are at the mercy of others. Well, you are…if you don’t live with wellness. Too often we look outward at our problems. Too often we look outward for solutions to these problems. Most answers, while not always clear, are inside. They have been there and will continue to be as long as we are human beings. So how do we achieve as human beings?
We make it part of our lives. In order to feel good, we have to do things that make us feel good. Getting up in the morning feeling good is a result of wellness. Going to bed at night feeling good is also a result of wellness. And, clearly feeling good throughout the day is a result of wellness. Living with wellness and making it part of your life is easier said than done. But it is being done by many already and can be done by anyone.
Wellness is what you get when you start each day with your agenda. It goes back to inner versus outer influences. Ask yourself a few questions: Who is winning the battle, the outer world or the inner world? What is driving your life, the outer world or the inner world?
How do you answer these questions? Actually asking yourself the questions is difficult enough. Especially in a time of stress, but it is important and can be very rewarding. You have to ask these questions if you want to know where you are in relation to wellness. If the inner world is what drives you, than wellness is a part of your life. If the outer is driving you, than…you guessed it, wellness is not a part of your life.
You may say, “I am a healthy person who practices many good habits, but my life is demanding and I have no control.” Or you may say, “It’s not my fault that my schedule is the way it is, but I get the healthy things in when I can.” Well, I am here to tell you that wellness is more than getting some exercise in or taking a break when you can. Wellness is much more that racing to the gym with a moment of your spare time. It is much more than getting a diet soda at the fast food restaurant.
Wellness is the mindset. The mindset that you are going to do what you need to do in order for your inner world to be as harmonious as possible. Our inner world can only be as controlled as we believe it can be. Much like our outer world can only be as out of control as we believe it can be. Until we look inward and truly find what drives us, we are simply going along with the outer world no matter what the consequences are to the inner world.
I’m no Buddhist monk, but I know a thing or two about enlightenment. I don’t mean the spiritual enlightenment that can only be achieved by years of meditation in the Himalayas. I mean the enlightenment that you achieve by looking inward and asking yourself who or what is in control. Am I running my life or is someone else? That is the real question. And all too often, the answer is either someone (or everyone) else. You may think that you can answer it at a glance or without thinking about it, but chances are you are proving the fact that the outer world is winning by not taking the time for yourself.
It is one thing to take time to go for a walk or relax on your day off. It is quite another to ask yourself what you really want. The reason our worlds (inner and outer) are limitless is our minds. Our minds are so powerful that we can literally be held captive or set free be them. A thought or decision inside your own mind can determine the best or the worst imaginable outcome. And guess what…it’s up to you.
The moral of the story is that we are creating our world. Either by doing what we want and getting great satisfaction or by allowing others to dictate what we do and what makes us happy, we are creating our world. It is up to us which world we focus on, but the outer will always reflect the inner. That is why if we look inside, we can make the changes that will affect the outer. We must look inside to change anything. We have to go to the root and start from the source in order to make any changes.
If you are not where you want to be, simply ask yourself these questions: What needs to be done in order to get there? What do I have to do in order to get what I want? If the goal is important enough, you will make the changes to reach it. If the goal is not important enough, you won’t.
That is why I emphasize the difference between the inner and outer worlds. If your goal is based in the outer world (by someone else or to meet something on the exterior) it is not important enough for YOU to make a change. Only when your goals are rooted in your inner world are they going to be important enough for YOU to make the changes necessary to reach them. And only when you are able to ask yourself what is important to you in the inner world will you be able to set goals there.
If you can identify what you want, set goals get it and make the necessary changes, you can do anything you want. But if you can’t identify what YOU want or set goals based on YOUR desires, you can do nothing. You can do nothing other than live according to your outer world. It may be easier or feel “normal”, but it is not. In the short term, you may stay comfortable, but in the long term is will be much harder to deal with.
Once you have begun to satisfy your true passions and strived to reach your true inner goals, you have made wellness a part of your life. How important are your goals?
Monday, August 11, 2008
Hello
Hello Blogosphere!
I just wanted to use the first post to explain the context of our blogging. Whether it is me or another health coach posting, this blog will be dedicated to health and wellness. Within it, you will get health information and advice on making changes in your life. You will also get some theories as to why it is so difficult for many of us to make these changes and tips to overcome those difficulties. You may agree, you may disagree. Either way, we want you to share your experiences with us. If you have any questions or would like to discuss certain topics, please let us know.
Enjoy!
I just wanted to use the first post to explain the context of our blogging. Whether it is me or another health coach posting, this blog will be dedicated to health and wellness. Within it, you will get health information and advice on making changes in your life. You will also get some theories as to why it is so difficult for many of us to make these changes and tips to overcome those difficulties. You may agree, you may disagree. Either way, we want you to share your experiences with us. If you have any questions or would like to discuss certain topics, please let us know.
Enjoy!
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