Your company has a vision. It has a mission statement of a mindset that defines what the purpose and goals are. Each day when your company does business, the person deal that is being made is in line with the vision. If it is not in line, problems occur and the company suffers consequences. Maybe these consequences are major and come in the form of legal action or negative media coverage. Maybe the consequences are minor and only involve some internal conversations to resolve the issues. No matter how it plays out, when a company does things that go against the vision, there are negative consequences.
Each individual person should have a vision too. When you get up in the morning, you know what you have to do and where you have to go. The one thing that many of us don’t think about is the why. Why are we going to the job that we are going to? Why are we even getting up today? There is a whole series of questions that we can ask ourselves to find this personal vision. If we don’t find it, how do we know what is important? The level of importance that we assign a task is not in our control if we don’t match it to our own personal vision. The importance will be determined by someone else.
Instead, why don’t we think about what is important to us and then start planning our agenda? I understand that paying the bills, putting a roof over our heads and having food on the table are all very important. I work to do those things every day too. But what I don’t understand is how we can spend an entire day, career or even lifetime devoted to things that hold no connection with our personal vision. This topic comes up when I talk with coaching clients about what they want to do. Initially I hear, “I want to lose weight” or “I want to quit smoking”. Occasionally, I even hear “I just want to feel better.” That statement, while still very general, is getting us closer to understanding a personal vision.
I’m not suggesting that we all quit our jobs and start an all-consuming self discovery mission. What I am suggesting is that we start a short list of the things that are important to us. Start by making a list of two or three things that you hold to be most important in your life. Once you have your list, think about how much time and effort you put into those things. If you are devoting the most time and energy to the things that you hold to be the most important, you are in line with your personal vision.
Some people like to take it a step further. Many people can identify with the corporate concept of a vision and mission statement. Try to write a brief statement that embodies your values and explains what is most important to you. Once you can do that, you can do much more. You can now measure the things you are doing against this statement. Now you have a gage for every task you complete. Is this important to me? More importantly, why is it important and how important is it to me?
Too often we end up sacrificing what is important to us. Why do we do this? I think it’s because we don’t take time to define our own importance. Not just the things we think are important; my concern is that we don’t define our importance in general. The importance of what you want to do and how you want to feel are being defined by other people in many of our lives. It’s time we took a few minutes to arrange you own list to make sure that your actions today are in line with your personal vision. If they are not, we know that there are consequences.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Living Life: making it easy
I know that we all appreciate life. Despite all of the complaining we do, we really do enjoy life. After all, what is the alternative? Rather than debate the possibilities of the afterlife, I’d rather keep it simple. Let’s keep it as simple as this: we have a simple decision to make each day. Every day, with everything we do we have to make one decision. That decision is either to get up in the morning and live, or to stay in bed and hide. No matter what else you run into during the day, you’ve already made the decision to get up and live, so why start worrying now?
I was talking to a friend one day after a long day. He had been working very long hours and felt like he wasn’t going to be able to make it to our hockey game that evening. I had experienced the same thing during grueling weeks myself, so I understood where he was coming from. The advice I gave him was directly from a coach that said it to me.
The story of how I discovered the one simple decision:
One day, during hockey practice I was feeling tired. We had a set number of repetitions to get through on a particular drill. We would not be getting done until we had done the drill ten times. The number was ten, period, not eight, not nine, but exactly ten. I was so exhausted that I had to take a knee between one drill and the next. When I did this, my coach came over and said: “you know, you have to do this anyway. “ “I know”, I said with a heavy sigh, “but I am so tired!” When he heard this, my coach asked me a question that seemed out of place for the rink. He said, “Have you ever been bored in class?” I answered with a an emphatic “Yes, of course I’ve been bored in class!” “Well, did the time go any faster when you started to get antsy?” “No”, I answered after thinking about it for a second. “Ok, did you feel good when you got done?” “Yes, I waited so long to get done.” “Did you really?” He asked. “Hmmm, yeah?” I answered as he cracked a smile. His next question was what got me thinking. “Did you feel good, or did you just feel like you were no longer fighting against something?” “Just because you felt antsy and bored during class, doesn’t mean you felt GOOD when class ended. It just means you don’t feel AS antsy or bored.”
What I learned from that conversation was that no matter how much I disliked the end of practice or the end of class or anything else in life, I had a decision to make. That decision is simple. In fact, it is even simpler than I thought it was. The decision is: Do I want to do this the easy way, or do I want to do it the hard way? It is that simple. As you live your life, you can choose to do it the easy way or to do it the hard way.
Now when I say easy or hard, I don’t mean to take the easy way out and never push yourself. That is a different kind of easy. The easy I’m talking about is the state of mind we had when we were kids. Remember when it was easy to enjoy everything? Remember when you smiled all day and laughed at everything that happened without waiting to see if it was an appropriate situation to laugh at?
Somewhere along the line it becomes easier to make life hard. It becomes natural to find all of the things we don’t like about something and focus on them. We focus on them to the point that we are unable to see any good in a situation because we are too busy thinking about everything we don’t like. We will even spend time complaining about good things in our lives. I’m not perfect. I complain. I find things that are good to be a “hassle” or a “burden” just like everyone else. But I noticed something that many of us are doing without thinking about it. We are making life very difficult for ourselves. When given the decision to make life easy or make life hard, we are choosing to make it hard. I don’t know why this is and I don’t even know that I have the answer. What I do know is that we have the power to make a decision. We can decide to make life easier, if we really want to. I believe that when you are truly living your life, you make it easier on yourself and everyone around you.
Live life, enjoy it and make it easy.
I was talking to a friend one day after a long day. He had been working very long hours and felt like he wasn’t going to be able to make it to our hockey game that evening. I had experienced the same thing during grueling weeks myself, so I understood where he was coming from. The advice I gave him was directly from a coach that said it to me.
The story of how I discovered the one simple decision:
One day, during hockey practice I was feeling tired. We had a set number of repetitions to get through on a particular drill. We would not be getting done until we had done the drill ten times. The number was ten, period, not eight, not nine, but exactly ten. I was so exhausted that I had to take a knee between one drill and the next. When I did this, my coach came over and said: “you know, you have to do this anyway. “ “I know”, I said with a heavy sigh, “but I am so tired!” When he heard this, my coach asked me a question that seemed out of place for the rink. He said, “Have you ever been bored in class?” I answered with a an emphatic “Yes, of course I’ve been bored in class!” “Well, did the time go any faster when you started to get antsy?” “No”, I answered after thinking about it for a second. “Ok, did you feel good when you got done?” “Yes, I waited so long to get done.” “Did you really?” He asked. “Hmmm, yeah?” I answered as he cracked a smile. His next question was what got me thinking. “Did you feel good, or did you just feel like you were no longer fighting against something?” “Just because you felt antsy and bored during class, doesn’t mean you felt GOOD when class ended. It just means you don’t feel AS antsy or bored.”
What I learned from that conversation was that no matter how much I disliked the end of practice or the end of class or anything else in life, I had a decision to make. That decision is simple. In fact, it is even simpler than I thought it was. The decision is: Do I want to do this the easy way, or do I want to do it the hard way? It is that simple. As you live your life, you can choose to do it the easy way or to do it the hard way.
Now when I say easy or hard, I don’t mean to take the easy way out and never push yourself. That is a different kind of easy. The easy I’m talking about is the state of mind we had when we were kids. Remember when it was easy to enjoy everything? Remember when you smiled all day and laughed at everything that happened without waiting to see if it was an appropriate situation to laugh at?
Somewhere along the line it becomes easier to make life hard. It becomes natural to find all of the things we don’t like about something and focus on them. We focus on them to the point that we are unable to see any good in a situation because we are too busy thinking about everything we don’t like. We will even spend time complaining about good things in our lives. I’m not perfect. I complain. I find things that are good to be a “hassle” or a “burden” just like everyone else. But I noticed something that many of us are doing without thinking about it. We are making life very difficult for ourselves. When given the decision to make life easy or make life hard, we are choosing to make it hard. I don’t know why this is and I don’t even know that I have the answer. What I do know is that we have the power to make a decision. We can decide to make life easier, if we really want to. I believe that when you are truly living your life, you make it easier on yourself and everyone around you.
Live life, enjoy it and make it easy.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Control
If you turn on the news, you will hear all about the latest health care reform ideas. You will hear how badly we need change. I agree. But what I don’t agree with is where we are placing the highest priorities. I see people getting worked up over prescription costs and network regulations. I also see people calling for the heads of insurance companies, claiming that they are evil and out to get us. I’m not trying to start a public vs. private debate, so that is all I will say about either side. It doesn't have to be a complicated debate though. In fact, we are wasting a lot of time and energy.
You can change the health care system any way you want to, but with our current lifestyles, it won’t make a difference. There is only one thing that will “fix” our current situation. That one thing is control. The good (or bad) thing is that we already have control. We have control over our own health regardless of the system operating around us. The health care system is there to treat illness, injury and other disease. What if we could prevent some of these things? Wouldn’t that be a good system? Well, we can and the current system, even if we don’t change a single thing, will function well if we start using our control. We just need to use our control.
No matter what side of the debate you are on, you can see where I’m coming from, right? Think about it: instead of going down to the town hall meeting to complain about what they might take away or how change may or may not affect you, what if you took control of your health? What if you spent as much time taking care of yourself as you did worrying about how much reform will cost?
The fact is: No one in government, no one in insurance, not even anyone in the medical field can give you any more control over your health. They can regulate what types of treatments you receive, provide the payment for such treatments and even operate on you to battle certain ailments. But the bottom line is, they are only able to treat symptoms that you present to them. 75% of the symptoms we present to them are preventable, meaning we shouldn’t need 75% of what we are being treated for. What’s worse is that we still aren’t solving the problems now. We are just treating symptoms. What kind of control is that?
In other words, for the past few decades, we have been throwing ourselves at the mercy of modern medicine and begging it to keep us going. We have refused to take responsibility for our own health and now we are blaming the very system that has kept us alive for being the problem. We have run up a huge bill for services that we have depended upon, but now we don’t want to pay for it.
Control: You have it, I have it and actually we all have the control. Let’s use it and truly solve this problem rather than looking for more ways to treat the symptoms. Health insurance is expensive because health care is expensive. If we are in control, we will prevent the problems that are costing us so much money. Wouldn’t that solve our health care problems? That sounds like a good solution to me.
You can change the health care system any way you want to, but with our current lifestyles, it won’t make a difference. There is only one thing that will “fix” our current situation. That one thing is control. The good (or bad) thing is that we already have control. We have control over our own health regardless of the system operating around us. The health care system is there to treat illness, injury and other disease. What if we could prevent some of these things? Wouldn’t that be a good system? Well, we can and the current system, even if we don’t change a single thing, will function well if we start using our control. We just need to use our control.
No matter what side of the debate you are on, you can see where I’m coming from, right? Think about it: instead of going down to the town hall meeting to complain about what they might take away or how change may or may not affect you, what if you took control of your health? What if you spent as much time taking care of yourself as you did worrying about how much reform will cost?
The fact is: No one in government, no one in insurance, not even anyone in the medical field can give you any more control over your health. They can regulate what types of treatments you receive, provide the payment for such treatments and even operate on you to battle certain ailments. But the bottom line is, they are only able to treat symptoms that you present to them. 75% of the symptoms we present to them are preventable, meaning we shouldn’t need 75% of what we are being treated for. What’s worse is that we still aren’t solving the problems now. We are just treating symptoms. What kind of control is that?
In other words, for the past few decades, we have been throwing ourselves at the mercy of modern medicine and begging it to keep us going. We have refused to take responsibility for our own health and now we are blaming the very system that has kept us alive for being the problem. We have run up a huge bill for services that we have depended upon, but now we don’t want to pay for it.
Control: You have it, I have it and actually we all have the control. Let’s use it and truly solve this problem rather than looking for more ways to treat the symptoms. Health insurance is expensive because health care is expensive. If we are in control, we will prevent the problems that are costing us so much money. Wouldn’t that solve our health care problems? That sounds like a good solution to me.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Internal Motivation, Passion and Belief
We all hear about what we are “supposed to do”. We all know what is “good for us” and “bad for us”. So what makes us decide how we are going to live our lives? What is the difference between healthy and unhealthy?
These are two questions that I ask myself regularly. I find it natural to think about this as I am helping people decide to change…or not to change. They are interesting questions for me because we always have a choice. We decide what is “realistic” or not. We all have the same number of hours in the day. We all start out with the same number of calories consumed when we wake up (hopefully it’s 0, if not, you’ve got a sleep walking and worse, a sleep eating habit.)
So why do some people find it impossible to live healthy, while others find it impossible not to? I think it boils down to motivation. You’ve heard me talk about motivation before, but this a little different. By definition, motivation is simply the reason for doing something. I want to go deeper with the word (and concept of) motivation. It is one thing to want something, but it is another thing altogether to want something enough to work for it.
When we look at school, sports or work, it is easy to think of ourselves as resilient. We have had challenges since birth that have molded our resolve and given us the sense of what we are capable of. Not only do we know what we are capable of, but we are also in tune with how much resistance we can tolerate along the way. The key to being successful in anything is to be able to achieve our goals no matter how much resistance we experience.
When you want something (motivation) and you want it bad enough (passion) and believe you can achieve it (belief) there is a certain magic that seems to come out that makes things seem as if they were meant to be. We often hear people praised as “made for this” or “in their element” because things seem to come so naturally for them. But what if those people simply want something (motivation), want it bad enough to work for it (passion) and truly believe that they can succeed (belief)? Isn’t that all it takes?
Maybe that’s not all it takes. Support, encouragement and the proper tools certainly help, but without motivation, passion and belief, things will be very difficult. There are a lot of people trying to make changes without one, two and even all three of these factors. Think about it. There are people (maybe you are one of them, we’ve all been there in one area or another) that are trying to change a habit in their lives because it is the right thing to do, or because someone told them to do it. When your only motivation comes from someone else’s ideas, how can you develop a passion?
What is even more difficult is believing that you can achieve it. Imagine living your whole life as an active person. Someone tells you that it is bad for you to be active, so they want you to stop moving so much. Think about how difficult it would be to find the motivation to stop all physical activity just because someone else thought you should. Of course, this is the reverse of what we are used to hearing, but it is a good way to illustrate what we are putting ourselves through when we crash diet or try to quit smoking cold turkey. If you don’t believe in it, or believe that you can do it, you won’t do it.
In the health and fitness industry, I think we have put ourselves in a tough position. We create these vacuums for ourselves by thrusting everything aside and vowing to change everything at once. We’ve all seen the next big thing on television that is the new answer to the age old problem. And what do they always say? They say, “Finally, this is the program for you.” “This is the one you’ve been waiting for”. They go on and on about why THIS program is the secret to your success. We think that if someone tells us to do something (expert or not), that all we have to is listen and do it. Millions of people have found that that is not the case. I have worked with countless numbers of them that tried to use motivation from the outside, but didn’t get very far because they didn’t have any passion for it or any belief that they could ever succeed. So what happens? They fail and it feels like “yet another” situation that they failed in. We all know what that does to the belief factor: now I believe even more strongly that I AM a failure.
The point I am trying to make here is that everyone has limits, but we often decide what they are before we even try to do something. No matter what we do in life, there are things that we are passionate about. The more we do those things, the more we understand our abilities and believe we can succeed in them. If you want to be healthy, you know what you are supposed to do. We have known the difference between healthy and unhealthy for centuries. There isn’t a whole lot that has changed, other than a lot more confusion and complication. In health, just like in any other area of life, we are capable of accomplishing the things we are motivated to do, the things (and results) that we are passionate about and of course things that we believe we can achieve.
Don’t exercise because I told you to, or because you saw a news story about it being good for you. Exercise because you like the way you feel when you are done. Exercise because you like going to the gym in the morning and watching the news on the treadmill. There are millions of good things we get from all of the habits in our lives. At least there should be good things coming from our habits. If you aren’t getting positives from your habits, than why are they your habits? Who’s habits do you have? When you are motivated internally, have a passion for what you are doing and believe that you can do it, you are truly healthy and successful.
These are two questions that I ask myself regularly. I find it natural to think about this as I am helping people decide to change…or not to change. They are interesting questions for me because we always have a choice. We decide what is “realistic” or not. We all have the same number of hours in the day. We all start out with the same number of calories consumed when we wake up (hopefully it’s 0, if not, you’ve got a sleep walking and worse, a sleep eating habit.)
So why do some people find it impossible to live healthy, while others find it impossible not to? I think it boils down to motivation. You’ve heard me talk about motivation before, but this a little different. By definition, motivation is simply the reason for doing something. I want to go deeper with the word (and concept of) motivation. It is one thing to want something, but it is another thing altogether to want something enough to work for it.
When we look at school, sports or work, it is easy to think of ourselves as resilient. We have had challenges since birth that have molded our resolve and given us the sense of what we are capable of. Not only do we know what we are capable of, but we are also in tune with how much resistance we can tolerate along the way. The key to being successful in anything is to be able to achieve our goals no matter how much resistance we experience.
When you want something (motivation) and you want it bad enough (passion) and believe you can achieve it (belief) there is a certain magic that seems to come out that makes things seem as if they were meant to be. We often hear people praised as “made for this” or “in their element” because things seem to come so naturally for them. But what if those people simply want something (motivation), want it bad enough to work for it (passion) and truly believe that they can succeed (belief)? Isn’t that all it takes?
Maybe that’s not all it takes. Support, encouragement and the proper tools certainly help, but without motivation, passion and belief, things will be very difficult. There are a lot of people trying to make changes without one, two and even all three of these factors. Think about it. There are people (maybe you are one of them, we’ve all been there in one area or another) that are trying to change a habit in their lives because it is the right thing to do, or because someone told them to do it. When your only motivation comes from someone else’s ideas, how can you develop a passion?
What is even more difficult is believing that you can achieve it. Imagine living your whole life as an active person. Someone tells you that it is bad for you to be active, so they want you to stop moving so much. Think about how difficult it would be to find the motivation to stop all physical activity just because someone else thought you should. Of course, this is the reverse of what we are used to hearing, but it is a good way to illustrate what we are putting ourselves through when we crash diet or try to quit smoking cold turkey. If you don’t believe in it, or believe that you can do it, you won’t do it.
In the health and fitness industry, I think we have put ourselves in a tough position. We create these vacuums for ourselves by thrusting everything aside and vowing to change everything at once. We’ve all seen the next big thing on television that is the new answer to the age old problem. And what do they always say? They say, “Finally, this is the program for you.” “This is the one you’ve been waiting for”. They go on and on about why THIS program is the secret to your success. We think that if someone tells us to do something (expert or not), that all we have to is listen and do it. Millions of people have found that that is not the case. I have worked with countless numbers of them that tried to use motivation from the outside, but didn’t get very far because they didn’t have any passion for it or any belief that they could ever succeed. So what happens? They fail and it feels like “yet another” situation that they failed in. We all know what that does to the belief factor: now I believe even more strongly that I AM a failure.
The point I am trying to make here is that everyone has limits, but we often decide what they are before we even try to do something. No matter what we do in life, there are things that we are passionate about. The more we do those things, the more we understand our abilities and believe we can succeed in them. If you want to be healthy, you know what you are supposed to do. We have known the difference between healthy and unhealthy for centuries. There isn’t a whole lot that has changed, other than a lot more confusion and complication. In health, just like in any other area of life, we are capable of accomplishing the things we are motivated to do, the things (and results) that we are passionate about and of course things that we believe we can achieve.
Don’t exercise because I told you to, or because you saw a news story about it being good for you. Exercise because you like the way you feel when you are done. Exercise because you like going to the gym in the morning and watching the news on the treadmill. There are millions of good things we get from all of the habits in our lives. At least there should be good things coming from our habits. If you aren’t getting positives from your habits, than why are they your habits? Who’s habits do you have? When you are motivated internally, have a passion for what you are doing and believe that you can do it, you are truly healthy and successful.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Buffet Strategies
Dessert is a good thing, but it doesn’t have to be automatic. Stuffing yourself at a buffet doesn't have to be automatic either. I was at a function that served a buffet style lunch. This is not uncommon and is often the ideal situation for over eating. I know that the fear is “I can have as much as I want, so I am going to take as much as I can”, but that doesn’t have to be the way we do it. I actually have found that this is an easier way to control not only what you eat, but how much you eat. Here are some simple tips to help you at your next buffet- style meal:
Take a look before you go up
You get to pick and choose at the buffet. What better way to know what you want (and don’t want) than to take a preview? Once you take a look, you can plan for the items that you want to make sure you include. We’ve all been in this situation: You are filling up your plate when you get down the line to something that you simply must have. It may not be a terrible option, but you’ve already filled your plate and you want to make more room for it, so it gets piled on. And, that is the “typical buffet”.
With a preview, we are planning ahead. It is almost like looking at a menu and deciding before you are in the heat of the decision.
Plan another trip
I know that no one wants to be stigmatized as the one abusing the buffet. Sometimes it can feel awkward to make another trip up. First of all, you can use that to your advantage and NOT go back up. Once you have finished your plate (even if it is small by regular buffet standards) you are likely to notice that you are satisfied. The food on your plate was enough to get you through the event and now you can relax and enjoy the conversation at the table. Or, if you are still hungry, you can go up and get another small plate and no one will care. You can’t lose. The only way you can lose is to eat too much and feel like you have harmed your routine.
My favorite example of this is the dessert table. Many of the events I have attended have a dessert table at the end of the buffet line. Each dessert is on its own plate, so you need to take it separately anyway. I use this opportunity to split things up. By not taking the dessert, I am making it a conscious decision to go back if I really want it. I have found that often, I won’t, not that it never happens, but when it is a conscious decision I don’t automatically do it without thinking. In fact, I’ve noticed that there are times when we have a dessert already in front of us that we are merely thinking of that and pounding down our food just to get to the dessert that is staring us in the face.
Whether there is a dessert table, a room full of food or just a typical buffet, you can succeed. Buffet does not have to equal over eating. As long as you have a plan and stick to that plan, you will be able to get through without the guilt.
Take a look before you go up
You get to pick and choose at the buffet. What better way to know what you want (and don’t want) than to take a preview? Once you take a look, you can plan for the items that you want to make sure you include. We’ve all been in this situation: You are filling up your plate when you get down the line to something that you simply must have. It may not be a terrible option, but you’ve already filled your plate and you want to make more room for it, so it gets piled on. And, that is the “typical buffet”.
With a preview, we are planning ahead. It is almost like looking at a menu and deciding before you are in the heat of the decision.
Plan another trip
I know that no one wants to be stigmatized as the one abusing the buffet. Sometimes it can feel awkward to make another trip up. First of all, you can use that to your advantage and NOT go back up. Once you have finished your plate (even if it is small by regular buffet standards) you are likely to notice that you are satisfied. The food on your plate was enough to get you through the event and now you can relax and enjoy the conversation at the table. Or, if you are still hungry, you can go up and get another small plate and no one will care. You can’t lose. The only way you can lose is to eat too much and feel like you have harmed your routine.
My favorite example of this is the dessert table. Many of the events I have attended have a dessert table at the end of the buffet line. Each dessert is on its own plate, so you need to take it separately anyway. I use this opportunity to split things up. By not taking the dessert, I am making it a conscious decision to go back if I really want it. I have found that often, I won’t, not that it never happens, but when it is a conscious decision I don’t automatically do it without thinking. In fact, I’ve noticed that there are times when we have a dessert already in front of us that we are merely thinking of that and pounding down our food just to get to the dessert that is staring us in the face.
Whether there is a dessert table, a room full of food or just a typical buffet, you can succeed. Buffet does not have to equal over eating. As long as you have a plan and stick to that plan, you will be able to get through without the guilt.
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